Advocacy

I watched a segment on Morning Joe with Laverne Cox. She is a 50 year old transgender woman who looks and sounds quite feminine. She started transitioning in her twenties, which is probably why she looks so good. She commented that since Jan 1 of this year, states have introduced 151 anti-trans bills into their legislatures.

As I was viewing her, it occurred to me that she puts me to shame in a number of ways. First, as a transgender woman, she looks damn good. Oh, I know. Most of you probably don't think that transgender women worry about their appearance, since their "gender identity" is so important to them. Well, I can tell you that's a pile of bull. Transgender women stress and worry about how they look as much as any cisgendered female does. We want to conform to the "standard" as much as any teenage girl does. (The good news is that after many years, trans women outgrow their teenage traumas and begin to accept themselves for who and what they are. Yes, we all grow up, eventually.)

Second, Laverne Cox has a passion about her role in life. This is what most struck me, because unlike her, I have no role in life, I have no passion. I am content to hide in the shadows, unobserved, unbothered, uninvolved. I am content to just hide away in my gopher-hole hide-away, staying out of sight from everyone. 

But seeing Laverne Cox advocate for transgender existence showed me that I was wrong in how I was approaching my life. 

I've tried to keep my transgender nature secret. It's never been something I was proud of. It was always just something I had to do.

Yes, there are some people who know I'm transgender. Close friends, family, many of my high school friends that I oddly am still in contact with. Most of my work associates (my clients) who witnessed my transition had largely abandoned me, but not in any noticeable way. My whole career consisted of going from one client to another every six months to a year, never to see or hear from them again. I can't blame not hearing from clients that I worked with and really loved from abandoning me. That's part of what made being a consultant so attractive. I could get away from people.

Maybe Laverne Cox could show me what was wrong with my life. Maybe she could show me that my hiding away was the wrong thing to do. And while I could never be as extroverted as she is, maybe I could be a little bolder about advocating for people whose lives are as mixed up as my life was. Maybe it is time to come out of the gopher hole and try advocating for those who need my voice to speak for them.

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